Making “Yes” Easy

April 30, 2010

Learn with Lloyd!A simple technique in the art of persuasion is presenting your points or requests in small steps — manageable bits of information that your conversation/negotiation partner can readily agree with or easily say “yes” to.  Here’s an example of comments/questions designed to elicit a positive response, step by step:

Some of us in the office have recently gotten involved in helping the neighborhood around our building.  We’ve had a lot of fun doing things like A…, B…, and C…, and the response from the community has been great.  We were wondering if you might like to join us sometime.  [Hoped for response: Sure!]

Our next project is D…, and we’re going to start it this Saturday.  Would you be interested in working with us on Saturday?  [Hoped for response: Yes, that sounds interesting.]

We’re planning to meet in front of our building at 10 a.m.  Would you be available then?  [Hoped for response: Yes, I think so.]

Great!  See you then!  [Hoped for response: OK!]

* * *

We’ll examine the structure of these sentences in a moment, but first, look at this less effective approach, which  packs too much information into a single request and may be less appealing to the listener.   A quick, positive response is less likely here:

Several of us in the office are planning to do some volunteer work near our building this weekend.  Are you free this Saturday morning around 10?  [Possible response: Uh, I think I have something going on this Saturday; maybe another time.]

 * * *

Effective Persuasion — COMMENT + REQUEST Structure:

You can enhance your powers of persuasion by making it easy for the other person to say “yes.”  Below is an analysis of useful elements in the effective example at the beginning.  Notice the comment + request structure in each of the first three exchanges: instead of aiming a single question at a time, the speaker creates context with a comment and then follows it immediately with a short request (direct or implied).  Also notice how the comments get progressively narrower in scope.  Comment 1 begins with broad perspective and background information:

Comment 1: Some of us in the office have recently gotten involved in helping the neighborhood around our building.  We’ve had a lot of fun doing things like A…, B…, and C…, and the response from the community has been great.  [Introductory sentence provides background, context.  Second sentence emphasizes two positive points — “fun” and “great response” — while giving specific examples “A…, B…, and C…”]

Request 1: We were wondering if you might like to join us sometime.  [Phrased as a statement; “we were wondering if” and “might like to” are usefully indirect, conditional elements; “sometime” is usefully ambiguous, avoiding early mention of Saturdays/weekends.]

Comment 2: Our next project is D…, and we’re going to start it this Saturday.  [Offers specific description “D…”; full-day reference to “this Saturday” avoids early mention of morning start time.]

Request 2: Would you be interested in working with us on Saturday?  [Phrased as a question; “would” is a useful conditional; “interested in” focuses on the other person’s interest/feeling instead of requester’s need or demand.]

Comment 3: We’re planning to meet in front of our building at 10 a.m.  [Notice each comment is getting successively narrower.  Here the specific time “10 a.m.”  is introduced; this potentially unappealing detail is withheld until late in the conversation.]

Request 3: Would you be available then?  [Phrased as a question; “would” is a useful conditional; “available” is a relatively objective term focusing on the person’s schedule instead of any desire to get up early on Saturday!] 

* * *

Here are some more examples involving marketing or promotion of the speaker’s services:

Less effective — single question: 
Can you give me your email address?
More effective — COMMENT + REQUEST:
C:
I’d like to send you some information I think you’ll find interesting. 
R: If you give me your email address, I’ll send it to you tomorrow.

Less effective — single question: 
Can I send you some useful information about that?
More effective — COMMENT + REQUEST:
C:
I have a short description of some ways you can avoid that problem.
R: I’d be happy to email it to you.*

*Sometimes a request is implied rather than stated.  With an inquiring tone of voice, an implied request can elicit a positive response, but if necessary, the speaker can add “if you’ll give me your address” (or even more directly: “Could I email it to you?”)

Less effective — single question: 
Would you like to schedule a free initial consultation?
More effective — COMMENT + REQUEST:
C:
What we normally do at this point is arrange a meeting to learn more about a client’s needs and determine whether our services are appropriate.  This initial consultation usually takes about 30-40 minutes; it’s free and there’s no obligation to begin a project.
R: Is there a day this week that might work for you?

Less effective — single question: 
Could you refer me to other potential clients?
More effective — COMMENT + REQUEST:
C:
We’re always looking for others who could benefit from our help.
R: Can you think of anyone you know who might be interested in our services?

Packaging your points as brief comments + requests can help you get more positive responses from people whose help you need or patronage you want.

* * * * *

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: